Up The River Without A Paddle~
by Leafeon
Summary: When Hikari attempts to send Ken and Daisuke on a romantic cruise aboard the Murphy's Dream, anything that can go wrong, will go wrong. But Pirates? Phone voodoo? And Swedish Fish? What kind of bizarre fic is this? Read and find out! Kensuke, Takori, Mic
1. Chap. 1, Boredom, Bashing, Brainstorms!

I'm baaaaaaa-ack! 'Tis I, Leafeon, the humorist extradonaire, back with yet another 'lil ficcie for all you people out there in FanFiction.net world! I promise, I got over the slightly lime-ish flavor in ~Sora's Vengefully Bad Hair-Gel Day~ (Or at least... I sorta got over it....) Anyway, I have always loved Kensuke (I have the CUTEST Kensuke fanart!)   
and Takori...So I decided to dabble a little bit in the fine art of cute'n'fuzzy shounan-ai!  
*sweatdrops* The only annoying thing is constantly looking over my shoulder to make sure my mom isn't in the room. Heh-heh...."No mom, I just got my pronouns mixed up...*urk*"  
Annnnyyyyyway..... Disclaimer: I do not own Digimon, if I did...Episode fifty would be six feet under.   
~~Up the River Without a Paddle~~  
  
Chapter One: Boredom, Bashing, Brainstorms!  
  
Hikari Kamiya was extremely and totally bored. Now you as the reader may be saying, "Well, who the heck gives a crap if Hikari Kamiya was bored???" But, unbeknownst to the rest of the Chosen Children, when Hikari Kamiya got bored, her mind wandered into dangerous places.   
On this bleak, gray fall day, her mind wandered right into her relationship problems. First of course, there was Daisuke. He was a nice kid, but he annoyed Hikari out of her flipping mind. Rolling over on her back, Hikari flipped a pillow up in the air. Then there was Takeru. She smiled. Gentle, sweet 'lil Takeru. (A/N: For all you people saying nooooo not Takari, breathe, it isn't)   
But Hikari, even in her current, devious state of mind, she couldn't bear to break Daisuke's heart. And, due to its incapabilties of dealing with rejection, probably his little mind too.   
"Hmmm... No easy answers for me, are there? Still, there must be something I can do!" She tapped her foot against the bedpost, keeping time with the music she could hear faintly from the kitchen. Taichi. He must have Sora over again. Too bad she wasn't that heartless, to play Yamato and Taichi like that. She shuddered. And sometimes Taichi and Yamato were busy with each other. Urgh.   
"Ha!" Hikari yelled, and in her excitement, flipped over and fell on her head. Rubbing her head, she snapped her fingers. "That's it! If Daisuke was busy with someone else...then he won't be concerned with me and Takeru!"  
"Gatomon," she said, addressing her digimon who was staring at her, bleary-eyed, as she threw on her coat. "I'm going to Miyako's, be back soon!"  
Gatomon sighed. There was no mistaking that grin on Hikari's face. She was going to seriously screw up someone's life again. Oh well. the digimon yawned and hoped it wasn't hers.   
******************************************************************  
Hikari swished past Tai and Matt. Ah, she'd been wrong, it wasn't Sora. Heh, there was a threesome with some serious problems!  
"Bye Taichi, Bye Yamato, goin' to Miyako's!" She said, swishing past them and slamming the door behind her.   
"You thinking what I'm thinking, 'Matt?" Taichi said, biting into a conveniently near-by apple.  
"You think?" teased Yamato, who then glanced around for the umpteenth time to watch for Sora and her tennis racket.   
"She's gonna screw up someone's life again, I just know it!" Taichi said, then found a worm in his apple and threw it over his shoulder, where it knocked out Sora, who had been lying in wait behind the refrigerator and thus stopping the grisly double murder that would have otherwise occurred that night in the Yagami house. (One must wonder though, why were both of them in the Yagami House. Gods, here I go, on a Taito tangent again....)  
Yamato watched as the fallen form of Sora fell out from behind the refrigerator and giggled. Yes, that's right, Mr.Ishida himself giggled. "As long as it isn't our life being screwed up, I don't care," he said, smirking evilly.  
******************************************************************  
And he wasn't the only one. A couple streets down, in front of Miyako Inoue's apartment, Hikari smirked just as, if not more evilly than Yamato. Mrs. Inoue (Do any of these parents have NAMES??) answered the door, a bit nervous that it was that annoying Jehovah's Witness, selling bibles again. She couldn't say no, and therefore the stack next to the sink was getting quite large.   
When she looked down and saw the girl at her door, she smiled, relieved, then noticed the rather sinuous smile wrapped around the girls face and got nervous all over again. She sighed, and muttered under her breath "Don't tell me Miyako's been inviting psycho-murders home again"   
Above her breath, she smiled and said "Hello, are you here to see Miyako?" The girl-formerly-known-as-Hikari-but-is-now-a-evil-entity-set-on-Daisuke-distraction nodded.   
Miyako popped up behind her mother. "Oh, 'kari! Hi! Come in, come in!" She smiled at her friend...but something about that smiled disturbed her. oh no...she's gonna screw up someone's life again. All I can hope is that she's not going to try and fix me and Ken up again!  
Sprawled out on the floor in Miyako's room, Kari related her "unique" idea to get rid of Daisuke without hurting him.  
"Huh," said Miyako, shoveling food from the plate she had brought in with her. "Great idea, there 'kari, but who are you going to fix him up with? And how? You'd need to do it real subtly, so he wouldn't be offended."  
"Um... I hadn't got that far. Hm. I guess it would have to be another Chosen Child, we don't want him having to explain V-mon, right?" Hikari said, frowning as furrowed her brows.   
"Right. But God, which one of us?" Miyako was also perplexed. "Maybe we need a little genius help. I'll call Koushiro!" Miyako hopped onto the phone and dialed the number.   
"I'll put it on speakerphone so we can both hear," Hikari said. and clicked the button. She heard Koushiro say "Oh hi, Miyako, honey"  
"Koushiro?? Uh...Uh... This is on speakerphone!" Miyako was blushing furiously as Hikari nudged her in the ribs, mouthing, "Hi, Miyako, honey!"  
"Oh. Er. Eh-heh." You could actually hear the blush on Koushiro's face.   
"Hey, Koushiro," said Hikari, still smirking "We need your advice."  
"Right," said Miyako, who went to hit Hikari. "We need to set Daisuke up, but we don't know how, or with whom. We figure it has to be a Chosen Child though."  
"Hmm..." said Koushiro, and they heard his fingers tapping on the keyboard "You are right about the Chosen thing though. And that it should probably be one of us, the Japanese, otherwise transportation could be messy."  
"Right!" said Kari " And that leaves us with Mimi--"  
"In America, remember?" said Koushiro's voice from the phone. Both Hikari and Miyako were looking at the phone, though this made little sense, since Koushiro was obviously not in the phone. It was much akin to the way kids look at a PA system in school. "She'd max-out his credit cards anyway, believe me, I know."  
Miyako turned bright red and began throttling the phone with its own cord. This of course was even non-sensical than looking at the phone when he was talking. "WHAT YOU DO MEAN YOU'D KNOW?!!??!??" she screeched, inflamed with rage.  
"Err...nothing, dear." Koushiro genuinely cowed. Mooo.   
"Uhh... Right. And that leaves Sora--" Hikari thought the better of this. Sora had been getting pretty good aim with those tranquilizer darts lately, and she only wanted to distract Daisuke, not kill him. "Never mind... So that leaves.... you, Miyako."  
Miyako looked up from killing the phone "Oh-no... No way! I am NOT going out with goggle boy! Not for all the desserts in my mom's store!"  
"Mi-yako's (gasp) right!" Koushiro's voice was strangled, which was of course, completely irrational and true. Miyako dropped the phone.  
"I'm glad you agree, Koushiro," she said, her voice no longer raging but soft and dangerous, its tone saying agree-with-everything-I-say-and-no-one-gets-hurt. "Because I'm otherwise involved, right?"  
"Well no-"  
"Right?"  
"Ah--yes, of course, but also because you already know about it. It should be someone who knows no more than Daisuke, otherwise his actions might be or seem false. And it'll be a lot more fun to watch if neither of them know."  
"One prob. All we've got left is guys," Kari said, but then thought back to Taichi and Yamato. "Aw, hell, why not. Let's go the shounan-ai way, hm?"  
"Fine with me," said Koushiro, he breath now returning to normal. "I'd say Taichi and Yama are out, right?"  
"Oh yes," said Hikari, thinking back a little too far and wincing. "They're...out."  
"And I'm out."  
"Should bally well think so!!" Miyako said (a/n: is there any Japanese equivalent to "bally?") ready to shove a pencil through the phone which Hikari was beginning to believe had some kind of voodoo on it.  
"That leaves Jyou-"  
"No way," said Miyako, "He's way too busy with school and everything"  
"Or Takeru--  
"ARE YOU INSANE??" Hikari nearly screamed into the phone.  
"Or Iori--" Hikari giggled, just thinking of Daisuke and Iori together  
"Or not." Koushiro sighed. "That leaves....." The girls heard him scrolling down. "Ken."  
"Hmmm..." The evil grin on Hikari's face grew wider. "That--  
"Could work." Miyako finished for her. Ha! Now she can't try and match us up!  
"Could definitely work."  
"Ok, we got our lovebirds....now for a plan," Hikari said decisively. There was an embarrassing silence.   
"Hey, I'm only a genius here, not an expert on love," came Koushiro's voice from the phone.  
"That much is obvious," muttered Miyako, and she stabbed the phone in what Hikari judged was the lower left arm area of the phone. "Urk."   
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  



	2. Chap. 2, Plotting, Planning, Paranoia!

Chapter 2: Plotting, Planning, Paranoia!  
  
(About two A.M. that night)  
*ring! ring! ring!*  
  
Miyako turned over and groped for the phone, pricked her finger on the pencil sticking out of it, then finally managed to grab the handset.   
"'ello?" she said, irritably. Two A.M. was not her best time, as Koushiro would well know. "'whoisit 'n whaddawant?"  
"It's Hikari, you idiot! I just had an absolutely brilliant beyond brilliant idea!!!"  
"Urgh... Didyanow? CanyatellmeinthemorningKarithanks." She flung the handset at the rest of the phone, rolling over she sat bolt upright. This was her opportunity to get Hikari to stop trying to get her and Ken together! Was she insane?? Well--that was another matter...  
  
*ring! ring! ri--  
  
Hikari swooped up the phone, "Miyako!" Hikari was more than a bit sugared up, and she had spent the night watching movies and trying to think up something. The girl had become obsessed. She had also become incredibly hyper.   
"Yeah, 'kari, so what's the bright idea?"  
"WellIwaswatchingOuttoSeaandIthoughtitwouldbeagood--  
"God, Hikari, you KNOW you aren't supposed to eat that many Swedish Fish.... Please slow down."  
"To hell with the Swedish Fish."  
"Do Swedish Fish have a hell all to themselves? I mean, is it just for Swedish fish, or is there a communal one for all vaguely gummy-like candy?"  
"Remind me never to call you late at night."  
"I called you, and its early in the morning."  
"Yeah, well, I thought maybe we could send them on a romantic cruise, you know?"  
"Hey...Not a bad idea. They'd be all alone on the ship, and who knows what could happen?"  
"Alone?" Hikari giggled "They'd only think they were alone. I'm gonna get Koushiro to wire the ship, so we know exactly what's happening. I'm not missing this date!"  
"Cool! I can get Jyou to rent the boat... I think his uncle works down by the docks. One thing though... how do we first get them on the boat in the first place? What do we tell them?"  
"Hmmmmm..." Hikari hummed thoughtfully. She snapped her fingers "Got it! Why tell them anything? We just send out two invitations, and Bingo!"  
"That's my line. Now you've got me hungry for Swedish Fish and worried about my candy's eternal well-being. Remind me not to call you this early in the morning."  
"I thought I called you."  
**************************************************************  
  
"This boat is absolutely perfect Jyou! Thank you so much for getting it for us!" Hikari beamed, with Miyako, Koushiro, Takeru, Iori (who were now in on the plot) and about 100 pounds of video equipment aboard the Murphy's Dream.   
Miyako turned to the cutaway map of the boat. "Now then," she said, pointing out areas to Koushiro. "We should rig a couple of cameras here-and-here and-here in the dining room... and here, on the deck....and--Jyou? Why is there a bedroom on the ship?"  
"Er...Well...Mimi always hated the long plane ride to Japan...."   
Koushiro went beet-red. "WHAT ARE YOU INSINUATING WITH THAT???"  
Miyako followed suit, and soon Hikari, Takeru and Iori were forced to break up the three-way strangle-a-thon.  
Takeru smiled. "Let's put a couple cameras in the bedroom too, hm?" He arched an eyebrow. Hikari face-faulted.   
"Urk?? Don't tell me you want to see that!?" Hikari was almost ready to join Miyako, Koushiro and Jyou in their throttling, but restrained herself, when Takeru hastily retracted that.  
"Ah--no, of course not, Hikari, dear...But think of the blackmail it'd make!" Takeru said, become nervous again as that "I'm-in-a-destructive-mood-watch-out" smile flashed over Hikari's features.  
"Ok, then. Koushiro, Miyako, you're in charge of rigging the ship up, Jyou, you need to make sure all the help is here and accounted for and knows what to do. I, unfortunately, have a family gathering tomorrow night, so you," Hikari pointed to Iori, "and you," she pointed to Takeru "will be monitoring their every actions in the control center Koushiro has so kindly set up in the boat house. Got it?"  
The rest of the Chosen nodded weakly. They were cowed by that evil smile. Moo.   
Miyako handed two cards to Iori. "And Iori, would you mind delivering these to Ken and Daisuke?" Iori bowed.   
"No problem"   
***************************************************************  
Jyou Kido paced nervously. He had been searching for hours, and he was still short a captain. Now he was god-knows-where around the docks and smelling strongly of fish. If it wasn't for that awful I-can-screw-up-your-life-so-bad-so-don't-screw-with-me smile on Hikari's face, he would have never agreed to this.   
"Dammit!! Urgh! Where in Hades am I going to find a captain before tomorrow night??" He stamped his foot. Wherever he was, it was a rather dark and dingy alley. He heard scratching nearby in the rubble. Ohno...Not a rat. Jyou was already at the hurling point from stress and was afraid a rat would push him over the edge.  
It wasn't a rat, for it was as big as Jyou, and had a patch over one eye, but from his appearance, he might as well have been. Jyou began to hyperventilate, his paranoia taking over. Not that this was unusual.  
"Heard ya was looking for a captain, eh?" the old man said, his voice somewhat like the rusty gutter that was his residence. Jyou was looking for an escape at this point, but he was so desperate he decided to hear the crazy coot out.  
"Urm...Yeah. I was," he managed to ek out. Silently he cursed Hikari and her god-awful life-screwing plans.   
"Heh-heh, sonny, yer looking at one! Proud master of the Mary Catherine!" At this, Jyou started. The Mary Catherine? He knew he had heard of it...but he couldn't place where. Who cares? If he didn't get a captain soon, he had a feeling he would be volunteered as the prow-head. Urk.  
" Ok, good. I'll pay you--" Jyou cut off. What did you offer to pay an insane bum?? "Why don't you make an offer?"  
"I'll work for two bottles of good rum, sonny. Up front. Aye?" The man had acquired a parrot in the ten seconds that Jyou had been thinking. He didn't want to know where it came from. His eye patch had switched eyes too.   
Now Jyou was a paranoid, and he figured that giving the "cap't" the rum beforehand was probably singing a death warrant for Ken and Daisuke...But at this point, he was so frazzled he could give a shit less. "Yeah. Sure. Meet me here." He was about to scribble an address on a piece of paper, then thought the better of it. "Meet me at the ship yard, in the big house, ok? I'll have your rum, and we'll get you acquainted with the ship, all right?"  
He could only guess the old man understood, since he seemed to have fallen asleep standing up. "Oy vay.." he muttered under his breath as he went to leave and the parrot began cursing at him with an impressive vocabulary.   
***************************************************************  
Iori was having a bit of a problem (isn't everyone in this story?). Due to his height, (or lack thereof) he couldn't seem to get the invitation into Daisuke's mail slot.   
At Ken's house, he'd had a similar problem, but Ken's mom had taken it and promised not to tell Ken who delivered it.   
Iori sighed. "What am I gonna do? I have to make sure he gets it...but I also need to make sure he doesn't know I delivered it. I can't trust Jun farther than I can throw her..." And though Iori had done remarkably well on the discus, he doubted that he could throw Jun very far. Giving up, he shoved the letter unceremoniously into the flowerpot and hoped for the best. It was going to be a long day tomorrow. He decided to go to the Murphy's Dream to see how Koushiro, Miyako and Takeru were getting on with the wiring of the ship. He just prayed Hikari wasn't there. The girl was seriously starting to scare him.   
  
  



	3. Chap. 3, RSVP, Rigging, Retail!

Chapter 3: RSVP, Rigging, Retail!  
  
Koushiro wiped a hand over his brow. God, this was harder work than he had first thought. It seemed anything on the Murphy's Dream that could go wrong, would. He was a genius, but this was getting out of hand. Something caught his eye.   
"Takeru! No! What the hell are you doing???" The blond haired boy had been ready to take a hammer to the wall.   
"I thought you said you wanted this window enlarged." Takeru said, his face a picture of innocence.   
"Urgh. I meant the window of overlapping cameras, so I can get total coverage of the room." Koushiro shook his head. Was the boy a complete idiot?  
"Then I think you better tell Miyako--" he cut off as the sound of tinkling glass came from the other room. "Too late."  
"No! No! No!" Koushiro grabbed air in front of him in exasperation. "Gods, no. Why me?" A picture flashed before his eyes. Two pictures actually. One was Miyako stabbing a telephone, (He still had a bandage around his arm. Damn that voodoo! Not only was it completely illogical, it also hurt like hell.) the other was that awful smirk on Hikari's face. Then (ok, I lied, three pictures) he saw Hikari in a really tight Kaiser outfit. Scary...but pretty damn nice.   
Miyako saw the daydream and hastily found a phone in the ship, poking it in places it is anatomically impossible for a phone to have. After seeing Koushiro satisfactorily curled in a fetal position, she said sweetly "What's next, 'Shiro, honey?"  
"urgglle" came Koushiro voice weakly from the ball of flesh on the floor.   
"Ah." said Takeru. "I think he wants us to knock a bigger window in this wall." He raised his hammer to strike. Koushiro recovered in phenomenal time.   
"Ah, no. Just set this antennae up on the mast, OK? Try and make it look like a fishing pole," he said, straightening up. God, he really need to do some research on that voodoo. Urk.   
He turned to his laptop and began to orchestrate all the tiny spy cameras around the room when the door opened behind him. Thinking it was Hikari, he spun and saluted.   
"Er. Hi Koushiro," Iori said, wondering why he was saluting. "What's with all the broken glass?"   
"We had...a slight accident," Koushiro said, looking about for Miyako. She must have been taking lessons from Sora. Where was a worm-eaten apple when you needed it?  
Iori stepped cautiously over the pile of broken glass. "How is Project Vouryism going?"  
Koushiro frowned. "Not so well. It seems that whatever can go wrong, is going wrong. Sigh. Did you get the invitations delivered?"  
"Sort of." Iori hated to lie, but he wasn't risking his neck, not the way Hikari had been acting. Koushiro was too preoccupied to notice his vagueness anyway.   
"Good," said Koushiro, then handed him a small video camera. "Find Jyou and the waiter he hired and tell him to put this on his uniform." He turned back to his laptop and began typing in some obscure numbers.   
Iori made his way off the ship to go and find Jyou.   
***************************************************************  
  
Ken Ichijouji was just finishing lunch when his mother came in with the mail. She smiled and handed him a fancy envelope.  
"Here, Ken, this came for you in the mail. Looks like an invitation," she said, smiling in her almost sickly sweet way.   
"Hmm?" Ken said, trying not to talk with his mouth full of the unidentified, probably edible substance he had been eating. Taking the envelope cautiously, he wondered who it was from. There was no return address.  
After swallowing (with some effort) he said "I wonder who it could be from?"  
"Well, open it, dear, and find out," his mom answered from the living room, trying to suppress knowing giggles.   
Ken opened it up rather unceremoniously, almost tearing the card in half (he always had been better with a whip than a letter opener.) The stiff, formal white card had enough gold leaf around the edges to make it sink in a pond of Jello. It read:  
  
To Ichijouji Ken.  
  
You are cordially invited to attend  
  
A ball being held upon the ship   
  
Murphy's Dream tomorrow night  
  
Tie and slack rule  
  
Please RSVP at 555-6879  
  
  
He read the invitation aloud to his mom, who was, like always, overjoyed that Ken was being social. "That's odd," Ken said, as he finished reading it. "There isn't any name. It doesn't say at all who is hosting the ball. Huh."  
Ken's mother, of course, had been given the scoop by Iori (She was so overjoyed at the news she didn't quite catch the fact that Daisuke was a guy. That or she didn't care.) and was bursting to tell him, but just barely managed to keep a straight face. "Oh, I'm sure you'll find out, honey."  
"Hm. And it is odd that it says tomorrow night. What if it was supposed to come yesterday?" Ken said, frowning in thought. He was a genius no longer, but this seemed fishy to his still higher-than-average-intellect.   
"And is it just me, or is that Miyako's phone number in the RSVP?" he wondered, more puzzled and now a bit chagrined. "Don't tell me this is another plot to get me and her together. Argh."   
"No...I think not, Ken, dear. Why don't you just RSVP and we'll see what clothes we have for you?"   
Ken sighed. There was no defeating his mother. She was just too nice. "Fine." He called up the number on the card and got an answering machine.  
"We're sorry we cannot answer the phone right now. If you are RSVPing for the party aboard the Murphy's Dream, please leave your name and number. "  
Ken complied to the machine, then wondered, Is it my imagination, or did that sound like Hikari?  
Whatever.  
**************************************************************  
Daisuke was tossing a soccer ball up and down as he lay on his bed, with the headphones on loud. From the corner of his eye, he saw Jun enter the room. Losing whatever concentration he had, he forgot to catch the ball and it landed on his head, knocking the headphones off.   
"Oww," he grumbled to Jun. "I told you never to come in without knocking, Jun!" He was annoyed. He had almost beat his record, catching the ball a record 2,378 times.   
"I did knock, dork. You were just blasting the music too loud to hear me." Jun huffed, then shoved something into his hand. It was a fancy envelope, not something she would have expected to be addressed to Daisuke. "This came in the mail. Well, actually, it was in the flower-pot, but I assume that it got there by accident."  
Daisuke snatched the envelope away and ripped it open. "Hey," he said, "Looks like I've been invited to a fancy party." His invitation was identical to Ken's, except, it was of course, addressed to him.   
Jun snorted. "You? At a fancy party? Ha! Don't make me laugh. You'll make a complete fool of yourself. Plus it says you have to dress up. You don't even have any decent clothes."   
Daisuke snorted as Chibimon promptly pulled the rug out from under Jun. Ha. And he did too have nice clothes. Somewhere. He hoped.   
"This is gonna be a blast!" said Daisuke, and went to RSVP. He hoped Hikari would be there.   
******************************************************************   
Jyou was experiencing some slight problems in obtaining his "cap't's" fee. "No, sir, I'm telling you the truth, it isn't for me!!!"  
The guy at the counter gave him a steely glare from behind his glasses, which wasn't very effective, since he was blind and giving a steely glare to somewhere above and to the left of Jyou's shoulder. It was anyone's guess as to how he knew Jyou was underage.   
God. This had to have been the worst day I have ever had, Jyou thought as he left the liquor shop empty handed. "I've been to every liquor store in Tokyo...and I still have a lack of rum," he muttered beneath his breath. Hikari is going to kill me. Or worse. Jyou started to get some bad mental pictures at that point, so barely heard the psssttttt that came from the alley.   
"Psssstttt! Pssstt!" A voice hissed from the alley. Jyou almost fell over, he was under so much stress. Then he thought, What is with the dingy, dark alley thing today? The mental pictures flashed again, and he popped into the alleyway.  
"What? Who's there?" Jyou said, nervous that there might be more human-sized rats around. When the figure emerged from the shadows, his first thought was, Phew. It doesn't look like a rat. His second was A rat would have been a hell of a lot better. The figure actually resembled a deranged penguin.   
"Hey, I think I can help you with yer rum problem, kid," the deranged penguin said, coming into focus. Jyou could now see that he had a case of rum on a small cart he was dragging along. Jyou wasn't about to ask where he got the alcohol, but he was about to ask  
"How much?"   
"30 dollars, the whole case. A real steal, eh?"  
Jyou sighed. "I only need two bottles."  
"Take it or leave it, kid," the deranged penguin muttered, beginning to waddle away.   
Gods! Jyou thought "Fine, OK, I'll buy the case." He shelled out $30, then grabbed the case, trying not to come in contact with the penguin man. As he headed down the street to the boathouse, he couldn't help wondering what company was doing all those cross-breeding experiments, and what had gone terribly wrong.   
******************************************************************  



	4. Chap. 4, Fussing, French, Fashion!

Chapter 4: Fussing, French, Fashion!  
  
Ken frowned. "Mother, do you really think all this is necessary?" Ken's mom, being the well-meaning but incredibly over-bearing woman she was, made it her mission to make sure that 'lil Kenny-poo looked perfect for such as big night. She had been fussing with his clothes and hair for the last hour now, and hadn't let him near a mirror.   
"Yes, it is. All right, Ken, all done!" She steered him down the hall to the mirror. Ken gasped. Damn, he looked good.   
He wore a deep, red-maroon colored suit, cut a bit tightly to accent his long legs and pale, unblemished skin. It seemed to make to skin he had always thought was sickly and pale seem to be perfect. Underneath went a plain, white, collared shirt and a tie that matched his indigo hair perfectly. He had plain, black shoes, and his hair had been wetted, brushed and gelled so much it shone with dark blue light, an enigma of darkness.   
"Wow," was all he could manage to get out. "Th-thanks, Mom." He'd be the envy of anyone, looking like this.   
"My pleasure, sweet-heart, now, get ready to go." Ken's mom had finally gotten it straight that Daisuke was a guy, and frankly, she was still euphoric. Hey, it had helped her pick out the clothes.   
****************************************************************  
"Pleeeeeaaaasseeee Jun? Please please please please please please please please please please---oof!" Jun threw a pillow at her dorky younger brother. He had been asking her all day to help him get ready for this big gala, or whatever it was that he was invited to. She finally snapped, sick and tired of his pleading.   
"Fine! Fine! Whatever! I'll help you, Ok, just shut the heck up!" Jun sighed. God, she had the world's most annoying little brother.   
Daisuke smiled. He was completely fashion helpless (except if you counted a soccer uniform as high fashion.) so he needed Jun's help on this one, however hard it was for him to admit it.   
Jun started whipping through his drawers. Only problem was, she grabbed the wrong drawer, and soon Daisuke's underwear was hanging off everything in the room.   
"Urk," she said, and moved down to the next drawer. Nothing appropriate for a fancy party. Next drawer. Nothing. Next one. Nothing. After a few minutes of this, Daisuke was up to his waist in clothing, Jun had run out of drawers, and there was nothing suitable for Daisuke to wear.  
Jun frowned, hands on her hips. Like Hikari, once she had her mind set on something, she didn't give up. "We have a couple hours before you have to be there. We'll have to borrow something from someone. Someone with fashion sense. Hmmmm." She snapped her fingers. "Of course! Yamato has more fashion sense than anyone around!"  
Daisuke had a distinct feeling that he was just being used as an excuse to see Yamato, but he didn't care. Yamato did have fashion sense, and he wanted to look good for this party. Especially if Hikari might be there!  
***************************************************************  
Right on time, the Cap't of the Mary Catherine showed up to collect his pay, along with the surly teenager he had hired as a waitress (He could only hoped she wouldn't be disturbed by what would probably happen on the ship that night!) and the Greek he had hired as a chef.   
"Listen," Jyou said to the waitress. "There will only be two people aboard the ship, and you must not under any circumstances, answer any of their questions. We don't want them knowing why they are there, got it?" The girl's gum bubble popped, which Jyou took as a yes.  
"First off, serve them the wine. They're gonna need a relaxant, believe me. Then, the soup, then the main course, then the dessert. Easy, right?"  
Pop.   
"Kay then...." Jyou moved onto the Cap't, and handed him two bottles of the rum. The others he had put in the boat house (Aka, Project Vouryism HQ, where Takeru and Iori would be monitoring Daisuke's and Ken's every move.) refrigerator.   
The cap't took them both, bit the cap off, and started swigging. Jyou had a very bad feeling about that.   
"Right, well, there's your pay. I'll show you the ship in a few minutes, after I get through with the chef." He turned to the French-man who sat sedately in the chair across the table. He had gotten the chef from his uncle, who had paid him already. Thus far, the guy hadn't said a word.   
"Ok. You." He said, but the guy just muttered something unintelligible.   
"He says: I only speak French," squawked the parrot from the cap't shoulder, as the cap't downed that rum in what Jyou was sure was world record time. He was so frazzled, he wasn't even going to ask how the parrot knew French.   
"Ok," he said, turning to the parrot. "Tell him that we want clam chowder for soup, filet of soul for an entree and cake and coffee for desert. We're kind of on a budget."   
The parrot turned to the chef, and said (in French, of course) "He wants the lobster bisque for soup, the mahi-mahi marinade for entree and crepe suzettes with brandy for desert. Spare no expense."  
The cap't, who had once sailed his former ship to France, smiled. It should get interesting when he got the bill back!  
****************************************************************  
Koushiro smiled evilly. "This was a strike of absolute genius, even for me, Miyako," he said, turning to her. "By hooking up our surveillance system with not only the control room in the boat house, but with this satelliteanyone with a digivice will receive an all Ken and Daisuke broadcast tonight!"  
`Miyako turned to the computer. "And let's make sure everyone is watching, shall we?" She brought up her email, and began typing in a message:  
  
sfTo all Chosen Children:  
  
Be watching your Digi-vice at about 9 o'clock tonight.  
  
Something interesting indeed.  
  
*Evil Laughter*  
  
Miyako, AKA Voodoogodess@aquilamon.com  
  
"Feeling evil, Miyako, dear?" Koushiro said, watching as she sent it to every DigiDestined in known existence.   
Miyako grinned. "Well, this should make for an interesting night." She sniggered.   
****************************************************************   
Yamato looked dubiously through the peep-hole at Jun. "How do I know this isn't some trick so you can come in to maim me?"  
Daisuke sighed. He was absolutely right, he was being used. "Yamato, it's me, Daisuke. I really need some advice. And clothes."  
"What, did she rip up yours too?"  
Daisuke shuddered. Ewwww. "No- see, I got invited to this party and--"   
The door swung open. Yamato had been let in on the secret (everyone had, in fact, except Mimi, whose incredible mouth would have blabbed it across the Pacific.)  
and Hikari had promised to let Sora out of the mental ward if he screwed her plan up.   
He grabbed Daisuke, pulled him roughly through the door and shut it on Jun's face. Literally.   
"Oww... she grumbled, then set up camp to wait for when Daisuke came out. Little did she know that Yamato had the fire escape down pat.   
Inside the rather squalid pad, Yamato gave Daisuke a critical look. He had the full scoop on Operation Love Boat, and was trying to figure out what Ken would want Daisuke to look like. It wasn't easy.   
"First, goggles off." Yamato ordered, hands on hips.   
"My goggles?" Daisuke grumbled. They were his life, his soul his--"Oww! You didn't have to hit me!" he said, in indignation, resignedly taking his precious goggles off. Yamato took them, remembering the time that Taichi had....Well, never mind.  
Yamato began rifling through his expansive closet (You can't become a member of a popular boy-band without getting a pretty large amount of clothes)  
"Black? No, too plain," he said, throwing the offensive article of clothing at Daisuke. "Green? Nah, with that hair, you'd look like a Christmas elf." the suit fell onto Daisuke's head. "Orange? Why do I even have an orange suit?" the electric-bright blazer plopped on the floor. "Ah-hah!"  
Bingo! From what he had read in the E-mail from Project Vouryism HQ (Takeru and Iori) Ken was wearing a deep red suit, and this would compliment it perfectly. (Koushiro had had some extra video cameras, and had set one up for a lark in Ken's house)  
"Cool, Daisuke, I found the perfect one," He said, and handed it to him. "Try it on." Neither boy made an effort to move.   
"Er... Do you mind like, leaving, the room, Yamato?"  
Oops. Yamato had forgotten it wasn't Taichi in the room. Blushing, he went out the fire escape (he wasn't going to take his chances with Jun!)  
Daisuke held the suit up to himself. It seemed...a little feminine, but he was out of options. He changed into it quickly (no descriptions, you hentai freaks :x)  
Not bad. he thought Not bad at all...even though the legs are a little long. It had been cut to the build of someone like Yamato, so was slightly thinner and longer in the legs and arms. The fabric had a slight metallic sheen to it, making his strong build, normally hidden behind loose clothes, a little more pronounced. He rolled the excess fabric on the legs up and knocked on the window to let Yamato know that he could come in again.  
**************************************************************  
Ken swung his legs in the car on the way to the docks. He still had no idea who was throwing this party, or who would be there, but he was nervous. What if Daisuke was there? He would probably laugh if saw Ken like this. All he could hope was that Miyako wouldn't be there. Hikari had tried, countless times, to get the both of them together... but Miyako had always annoyed the hell outta him, and she was infatuated with Koushiro. But Daisuke... hm. There were some possibilities.   
***************************************************************  
Yamato frowned. The hair. Now this was going to be one hell of a task.   
"Maybe you should wash all that old hair-gel out, Daisuke"  
"What hair-gel?"  
"You mean to tell me you don't use hair gel to get your hair like that?"  
"Dude, my hair naturally defies the laws of psychics." Daisuke wasn't quite certain what those laws were, but his hair ceratainly defied them.   
This was going to be harder than Yamato thought. Opening his medicine cabinet with a flourish, he revealed more hair-gel than Daisuke thought was humanly possible. Bottles of every size, color and questionable description lined the shelves.   
"Ah-thanks but no thanks!" he said, and scrambled to get up.   
"Oh no you don't! Yamato said, "Do I have to tie you down?" Some how, being tied down by Yamato when you looked somewhat like Taichi did not appeal to Daisuke, so he meekly sat down, and Yamato got to work.   
He scooped.  
He smoothed.  
He sculpted.   
"Done!" he said, when he was finally done. He stepped back to survey his handy work.  
SPROING!!! Daisuke's hair bounced back to normality. "Dude, what did I tell you?" Yamato was dumbfounded. He couldn't believe it. He had nearly exhausted his quite venerable supply of hair-gel on the Motymia's head!   
Yamato was still in shock, so he didn't complain when Daisuke snapped his goggles back on, making himself look fairly silly.  
When Daisuke left, Jun ran in, and was on Yamato like a ton of bricks. Worse, in fact. At least a ton of bricks doesn't rip your clothes off.   
****************************************************************  



	5. Chap. 5, Murphy's, Meetings, Merlot!

Chapter 5: Murphy's, Meetings, Merlot!  
  
Jyou, Miyako, Koushiro, Takeru, and Iori stood back on the dock, surveying their handiwork. The Murphy's Dream looked the best it ever had. Every thing was perfect (or nearly so. The Cap't was drunk by now, and there was a rather large window where there hadn't been before) The table was set, the wine chilled, and waitress/hostess had spit out her gum and was no longer surly (The fifty that Jyou had slipped her did wonders for her attitude)  
"Done!" said Jyou, and promptly fell over onto the bilges from exhaustion.  
"All right," said Miyako, "Me and Koushiro will be at his house-" she searched for an excuse, while Koushiro searched for an escape. "Making sure all the satellites are working properly." Koushiro could only hope he could disconnect all the phones in his house before it was too late.  
Jyou stirred from the bilges "Eh. I'll be with them, and Takeru, Iori, you'll be in the boathouse (Aka: Project Vouryism HQ) all night. If you get hungry, I stocked up the fridge in there."   
Iori looked at his watch. "We still have about 20 minutes" His watch, curiously enough, had stopped yesterday, but had stopped at precisely the same moment yesterday, and therefore was still correct.   
Halting her furious search for a pointy object and a telephone, Miyako turned to say "Which means that Ken should get here--  
A car pulled up the dock road.  
--now. Which means that we have to get out of here, NOW! Bye, Tk, Iori. We'll be watching on our Digivices!" she grabbed Koushiro, who latched onto Jyou, and all three ran.   
Takeru turned to the waitress. "You know what to do, right?"  
"Right," she said, much more politely. TK and Iori quickly retreated to the boathouse as Ken got out of the car.   
The waitress helped him up the ramp. "Welcome to the Murphy's Dream".  
***************************************************************  
Daisuke walked down the street to the docks. He sighed. Jun had, unfortunately, been "preoccupied" and unable to give him a lift, and his parents were working, so here he was, walking down the street, getting his carefully smoothed down clothes all dusty. Oh well. It was better than staying home, he thought, nearing the mystery party aboard the Murphy's Dream.   
**************************************************************  
"Wallace, hurry up with the pop-corn!" Micheal shouted from the living room. He had jury-rigged his digivice to his TV and they could see Ken in the ante room, though it was on delay, due to the satellite. Being the two-best known American DigiDestined, they were both over Wallace's house having some fun watching Ken and Daisuke.   
"Food, food food!!" Betamon said, jumping up and down like the crazed little Digimon he was.   
Wallace turned around to turn on the microwave "Terriermon, you're supposed to cook it before you eat it!" he said to his Digimon, who was attempting to eat the hard kernels before they were popped.   
"Y'know," Michael said, "I always thought they looked cute together." Wallace walked in the room with the popcorn and plopped down on the couch next to Michael. "They aren't the only ones," Wallace said, and gave a small giggle as he hugged Michael close to him.   
"Oooooooo" said the three digimon.  
******************************************************************  
Ken waited in the ante room, where all he could do was look around and wonder about this mystery gala. Since he was so early, he took a good look around. The ship was a good size, and stylish, but simple. The ante room was log cabin-ish, cozily done, with large, over-stuffed couch and low lighting. Just as he began to appraise the reddish marble fireplace, the waitress popped into the room.   
"The other guest has arrived," she said, and began to lead him through the ship's narrow corridors.  
Ken was taken aback. 'the other guest?' That told him two things. One was that the other person on the ship was not the host, but another invitee, and that there was only going to be him and the other here.   
****************************************************************  
Daisuke shuffled his feet on the floor as he sat in the dining hall, alone. The hostess(waitress) had gone to get the other guest. He wondered who it was. Crossing his fingers, he said under his breath, "Please let it be Hikari....Please let it be Hikari...."  
*****************************************************************  
Ken was a bit surprised when the waitress had shown him the door and just walked away like that....but whatever. He opened the door and walked in.  
*****************************************************************  
"Ken???" Damn, he looks good!  
******************************************************************  
"Daisuke??" Wow, he acually dressed up!  
"What the hell are you doing here??" Daisuke said, looking at Ken oddly. Ken searched through his pocket, then found the invitation. Davis also pulled his out, and they were identical.   
"Huh." said Ken, wising he had his full, dark spore genius back. "I wonder who did this... and why?"  
Daisuke grasped the air in front of him, and face faulted "I wonder why you aren't Hikari!"  
******************************************************************  
Takeru snorted. "He isn't Hikari because I'm with Hikari! Ha!" Iori was smirking at their expressions too, Daisuke's of complete disappointment (he had expected the other person to be a girl at the very least!) and Ken's of sheer rage (at his inability to find out who did this.   
"I'm hungry," Iori said "Jyou said we could help ourselves from the refrigerator, so I'm going to bring a whole bunch out"  
"Yeah, that way, when things get interesting, we won't miss a thing. Get me something to drink, while you're up, wily?"  
"Sure" Iori went into the kitchen and began digging through the refrigerator. Some stuff for sandwiches...cold chicken...and some bottles of an amber colored drink. That should hold them off...  
He went into the freezer , which, oddly enough, seemed to be full of Swedish Fish. The only thing that crossed his mind, and he wasn't sure why, was hell, frozen over....  
****************************************************************  
The Murphy's Dream, had, in face of all problems and a drunken Cap't, set sail, off into the bay. (it was going the wrong way..but who's counting?)   
The waitress brought over a bottle of red wine to the table, where the two fairly agitated boys sat down. Ken appraised the label critically, then poured himself a glass.   
"I didn't know you drank, Ken," the red-head said, stealing a sideways glance at the other boys, and pushing his glass over.  
"I need it right now!" Ken said, pouring Daisuke's glass up to the top.  
He's so...elegant, Daisuke thought, watching him. Then, And he can hold a drink, Phew, as Ken downed the glass in one shot.  
**************************************************************  
"Hey, Iori," Takeru said, swiveling around on his desk chair. Watching Ken sucking down that glass of Merlot had really made him thirsty, and the smaller boy had come back in with a bottle and some sandwiches.   
"Here, " Iori said, handing the bottles off to him, and placing the two stacked high sandwiches on the table.  
Takeru twisted off the cap. "What is this?" he asked Iori, who was attempting to shove the enormous sub in his small mouth.   
"H'I (munch, much) dunno (munch) To dhark t'read h'it"  
Takeru sniffed it from the neck. The vapors caught him headily. "Pheewww!! Whatever it is, it's strong!" He took a swig and almost spewed it out, but just kept it in so the fiery stuff went down his throat. "Ho god, that'll keep me up!" He handed it off to Iori, "Have sip, Iori."   
Iori had a bad feeling at this point, but that sandwich had made him thirsty.   
"Pheewwww!!"  
*****************************************************************  
"God, " said Daisuke, as the muscle relaxing effect of the wine started to take effect. "Whoever it was that did it though, they certainly didn't spare any expense"   
"Hmm, " said Ken, agreeing. "I'm just so glad that you aren't Miyako, I don't care who did it!" He sighed. "Now us two, there's a couple destined for disaster. All we do is fight, and she gets way too jealous"  
Daisuke laughed. He's got a nice laugh, thought Ken, and he uses it...  
"Yeah," the red-head said. "I remember all the times she's tried to get you two together. That horrified look upon your face is just precious!"  
Ken cracked a smile. He doesn't smile enough, Daisuke said in the hollows (very hollow) of his mind.   
"Dude, at least you've got a chance! I might as well have chicken pox, the way Hikari avoids me!" he said, as the waitress came by with the soup. Dipping his spoon in almost daintily, Ken smiled, a little more broadly.  
"You think that's funny, huh?" Daisuke said, but his tone was mellow, he was just teasing. "It's true. I don't know how to act around girls"  
"Well, when I was rather dark-spored, I had girls all over me...And I didn't care how many hearts I broke." Ken began to frown, thinking back. Daisuke, hating to see the smile off his friend's face attempted, (terribly) to lighten the mood.  
"Then show me how to act!" He said, and slurped up some soup, smiling up at his pale friend.   
"Such as....?" Ken said, arching an eyebrow, the smile back, but lopsided.   
"Well, how about how to kiss?" Daisuke said, then wondered Why the HELL did I just say THAT????  
****************************************************************  
"Ooooooooo......." said Wallace and Michael simultaneously, sniggering and falling into each other.   
****************************************************************  
"Ooooooooo....." said Takeru and Iori, watching it on the monitors, as Iori fell off his chair drunkenly. The rum bottles were getting low.   
*****************************************************************  
"Oooooooo....." said Chosen Children around the world, waiting in anticipation.   
****************************************************************  
(and I'm gonna make you wait 'til next chapter!)  
  
  



	6. Chap. 6, Passion, Pummeling, Pirates!

Chapter 6: Passion, Pummeling, Pirates!!  
  
"Yeah, right, on who?" Ken said, referring to Daisuke's request. The waitress had showed presence of mind enough to get the hell out of there, and Daisuke was the only other person in the room.   
*****************************************************************  
"Yeah! Come on, let'shh shee shome h'action!" Takeru said in the control room, slightly drunk at this point. "Show 'em how it'sh done, Ken!" He grabbed Iori (who was similarly inebriated) and spun him around on the swivel chair.   
******************************************************************  
"Well..." Daisuke said, taking stock of the vacated room. His mind had a glimmer of what he was going to say next, but his mouth was moving too fast for his slow mind to catch it. "On me. For educational purposes."  
The train of thought broke the sound barrier and slammed into the station, yelling at his heart and his mouth, What in all the Hells accepting Swedish Fish are you doing??? He told his mind to jack off.  
Ken was a bit surprised at Daisuke, but hey, "If it's for educational purposes..."   
******************************************************************  
"How's this for education?" Michael said, giving Wallace a kiss that left him dazed as Betamon, Terriermon and Gummimon giggled. When he finally came to, he said,  
"Whoof. Better education than I ever got from my teachers!"  
(A/N: Dark Peregrine, (Aka, Caitlin) of course, gets this kind of education from Mr. Ardoin all the time...)  
******************************************************************  
"And you place your hands here, and here..." Ken said, wrapping his arms around Daisuke in a purely professional manner.   
"This is so stupid, Daisuke," Ken said, but for some reason, he didn't feel repulsed at all, which gnawed at his mind. Daisuke replicated his hands, and though Ken at first flinched at the contact, he then leaned into it, enjoying the touch of another human being. He never had let anybody near after the Kaiser thing...he'd been afraid to, but this was purely educational. Right? Then why are you enjoying it so much? His mind said. Following Daisuke's example, he told his mind to jack off.   
"Then, " he said, following his own example, "you kind of lean in and...."  
Daisuke caught himself looking into the taller boys eyes as he leaned in slowly, found himself melting under Ken's stare. It wasn't sadistic or full of the vengeful pain it had held, or guilty like it often did now, but the deep, indigo blue mirrors had powerful emotion behind them, though Daisuke wasn't certain what emotion they held. Was it friendship? Love? He didn't want to make an assumption, but....  
They kissed. And something happened.   
Daisuke was fairly certain it was only meant to be a quick smooch, but neither boy seemed willing to let go. He stiffened slightly for but a moment, then it seemed Ken's power held him captive. Feeling that contact, that connection with another person had never happened to him before. No. It had, when he and Ken had Jogress digivovled. Then, like now, it seemed he could count Ken's heart beats as well as his. Hikari could go to hell, as far as he was concerned.   
Ken was equally surprised. He found himself unable to break off of Daisuke's lips, that he was hung on a single moment that lasted an eternity. A good eternity. It was as if he had found the warmth and comfort he had lacked all his life, first by shunning others as lesser, then by shunning himself. He felt empowered, but not as he had when he was the Kaiser, because the power wasn't taken from Daisuke, but shared among a current the shared.   
Then, completely spoiling the romantic mood, the Murphy's Dream was shot at by cannonballs from the pirate frigider amidships and threw them both to the corner of the room.   
************************************************************   
"Yee-Haw!" Iori said, now completely drunk, jumping up "Operation Love Boat is a success!" The little guy grabbed Takeru and gave him a celebratory kiss which the blond haired boy responded to by giving him an even bigger one back. Hell wit Hikari, his short-circuited brain said, and the two let go of all abandon.   
***************************************************************  
Jyou had been locked in the Izumi bathroom (Miyako and Koushiro had lured him in with a bottle of Robitussin.) Bored, he pulled the book he was reading, Ghosts Of the Deep, and began to read the chapter labeled Ghost Ships.  
'And one of the most famous ghost ships, the Mary Catherine, is said to haunt--'Jyou stopped reading. Ah, so that was where he had heard of the ship. He went back to reading 'the shores of England and--' He did a violent double take.   
"Oh, shit!"  
He broke the door open and ran out, passing Miyako and Koushiro. I've got to save them!  
****************************************************************  
"Oh no!" Wallace cried, as the saw Ken and Daisuke get thrown about on the ship.   
*****************************************************************  
WHOMPH! Ken and Daisuke were hurled about violently inside the ship.   
The waitress, by this time, had jumped ship, as had the Cap't, and the parrot was the only other sapient being around, though he was only vaguely discernible, as he had gotten soot from the furnace all over him and was cawing "Nevermore, Nevermore!!"  
Daisuke fought to stand upright, and pulled Ken to his feet, steadying the thinner boy. "What's happening?" he said, looking about at the destroyed dining room, lobster bisque falling from the chandelier.   
"If I had to guess, " Ken shouted over the din as the ship groaned. "I'd say we crashed into another ship." Grabbing Daisuke's hand, he led the way up. "Let's see if we can get out of here!"   
Just as the two got to the stairs, another blast rocked the boat (yeah, baby!, yeah!) "Or, that we were being shot at by cannon balls, " Ken amended. "I'm not a genius anymore, sue me."  
Daisuke giggled, in spite of the fact that this was neither the time nor the place to be giggling. "I love you anyway, Ken-chan.."  
Ken smiled one of his rare, brilliant smiles and pulled Daisuke up the stairs. "I know, I know, but we've got to get out of here!"  
The two fought their way up the stairs, clutching each other (not that either thought this was a bad thing) every time a blast rocked the ship. Daisuke stopped at the window that Takeru built (or rather, made by destruction) and looked out into the harbor. His eyes widened, and Ken turned to see what the red-head was gaping at. Similtainiously, they both said,  
"What the HELL is a pirate ship doing in Odaiba harbor?????"  
*****************************************************************  
  



	7. Chap. 7, Ranting, Rushing, Rescue!

Chapter 7: Ranting, Rushing, Rescue!  
  
Jyou stuck out his thumb, desperately attempting to hitch a ride. By the time he could walk to the harbor, who knows what would happen to Ken and Daisuke?   
And who knows what would happen to him if who knows what happened to Ken and Daisuke???  
He gulped. He had been standing here for several minutes and still cars passed him by. There was only one thing left to do. Backing up a few steps, he waited for a car to come by.   
A blue car was coming over the hill and Jyou jumped in front of it.  
SQUEEEEELL!! THUMP! SLAM!  
******************************************************************  
"Hurry, Seadramon!" Michael yelled, hugging Wallace tightly to prevent him from falling (yeah, riiiiight)  
The quartet (Terriermon and Gummimon were hanging on for dear life on his tail.) had used the Digital World gates to quickly navigate to Odaiba, and were now rushing through the streets to the harbor, attracting many strange stares. Wallace wasn't quite sure if this was due to the 20 foot long sea-serpent floating through the streets, or Michael's rather passionate embrace.  
The five were on a noble mission, and well on their way...only there was one problem. They didn't quite know what way that was.   
"Michael!" Wallace shouted, above the din of traffic. "How do you know we're in the right direction??"  
"I don't, Terriermon is steering!" He yelled back, as confused as Wallace.  
"I'm following my nose!" Terriermon said. "I can smell the rotten fish from here!" It was the most sensible thing that anyone had said all day, so Wallace accepted it as it came.  
*****************************************************************  
As all this chaos was going on, Takeru and Iori were blissfully unaware and completely drunk. Poor Iori was giggling so much he was almost hyperventilating, and Takeru was doing... inappropriate things on the monitor with his hands.   
*****************************************************************  
When Jyou opened his eyes, he found himself looking into Mimi's eyes. "Wha-What're you doing here?" He asked, wondering whether he was in heaven or hell, when exactly Mimi had died, and why there wasn't any Swedish Fish.   
"I hit you with my car, idiot," she said, holding out her hand to get him up. "You aren't dead, if that's what you thought."  
Jyou sighed. He wasn't dead, and he hadn't failed Hikari yet. (He was pretty sure the latter was the worse of the two options, as he was sure Hikari could defile his dead body pretty badly) But he would have to put up with Mimi.  
"Mimi, I need a ride to the harbor, quick!" he said. Normally, he wouldn't ask her, knowing her unsafe driving "skills", he was a desperate and nearly dead man.  
Mimi put her hands on her hips. "So I save your life, and you want me to play chauffeur? Where's the debt? Where's the I'm you slave for life sort of thing?"  
"In the middle ages," Jyou said, and threw her in the car and slid into the driver's seat.  
Buckling her seatbelts, she screeched at him "What are you doing??? This is Hijacking!" Jyou hit the gas and burned rubber, trying to get there as fast as humanly possible.   
"Well, you see Hikari started going a little insane, and we needed to set up Ken and Daisuke..."  
Mimi was face faulting at him, a large sweatdroplet hanging ominously above her head.   
"Which was Hikari's idea, Ok? And then we rented this boat and put up all these cameras....."  
The sweatdrop grew larger.  
"Not that I wanted to see that!! And I hired this Captain, see, for two bottles of Rum....."  
The sweatdrop was almost as big as Mimi's head.  
"No, I didn't drink it! So then I come to find out this guy was the captain of this ghost ship...."  
The sweatdrop promptly exploded, drenching both of them. Jyou swerved to avoid Seadramon as the digimon floated past on the street, then did a double take. Seadramon? Either someone was trying to take over the world again...or that was Michael!   
He leaned out the window and yelled out "Michael, is that you?" Mimi struggled to grab the steering wheel as the car zig-zagged all over the road.   
Michael smiled. "Wallace, it's Jyou! He's probably going to help Ken and Daisuke too!" Raising his voice, he shouted, "Yeah! We're going to rescue those two!" He reined Seadramon closer to the car.  
"There's the harbor!" Jyou said, and grabbed onto Seadramon, jumping out of the car. "Cheaper than renting a boat. The three boys landed in the water and began to head out after the pirate ship and it's captives.  
Mimi, however, was not as lucky. Unable to get control of the car, she rode straight into the bay. As she went down, she muttered, "Just look what this dirty water is doing to my hair!"  
******************************************************************  
They had made it up on deck, but the sight there was no better than being trapped under deck. The pirate ship loomed above them, a sight made especially to strike fear into the hearts of all that beheld it. The effect would have been a lot more effective had there been a jolly roger (skull and crossbones, for the layman) instead of a jolly rancher on the flag.   
"Eeeeeeeeee," both boys said, trying to hide behind one another, (if you've ever tried this, you soon find yourself in a heap on the floor.) as rappelling hooks began appearing over the sides of the Murphy's Dream.   
"We can't just stand here!" Daisuke said, getting a determined look in his eyes.   
"Yeah, but what can we do? We don't have any weapons!" Ken said, looking about the ship for anything to brandish. His searching gaze found the antennae that Miyako and Takeru had erected. It was tall and flexible, and in order to make it look like fishing pole, they had attached a string to the end. Well, it wasn't exactly Kaiser material, but hell, it'd do.   
Daisuke had too found a weapon, pulling off his goggles and grabbing the rocks used as ballast, used them as a slingshot.   
The pirates swarmed up and over the edge of the ship, with knives that looked a little too sharp and pointy for either boy's liking. Funny thing was though, that all of them seemed to have bit's of candy stuck all over them. Swedish fish, mostly.   
"Oh hell!" Daisuke said, and began shooting bits of rocks at the corsairs, though now it seemed a futile attempt, as the numbers had grown to horde-ish amounts. Standing back to back with Ken, he shot wildly into the crowd, fully intending to take down as many as he could before he went down.  
Ken was a whole new sight to behold. Somewhere between Kaiser and Ken he found himself, even looking the part, as his hair was terribly messed up and sticking up slightly, giving it a Kaiser-ish look. He was wielding that whip with surgical precision, lashing out fiercly.   
Ken had always been scared that that side of him would come back, but he wasn't concerned. He knew exactly what (or should we say, who) he was fighting for, and that he was right in this fight.   
*****************************************************************  
"What's happening?" Jyou asked, squinting and shading his eyes. He could just barely see the shapes on the horizon that were the Murphy's Dream and the pirate ship. His eyes weren't very good, and it was almost dark."The Digivice isn't working anymore." When Ken had pulled out the antenna, all broadcast had stopped, so except for Takeru and Iori, who were plastered anyway, nobody could see what was going on.   
Michael, who had better vision and was seated at Seadramon's head, said, "Looks like there's some kind of fight going on. "  
"We've got to save them!" Wallace cried from Seadramon's tail. "It could really get ugly if we don't get there soon! Come on Seadramon!"  
Terriermon muttered to Gummimon, "How come I don't get any practical forms like Seadramon? Hmph."  
******************************************************************  
Hikari shook her head. That had been a very interesting family reuion. She wasn't sure why Taichi had to have chosen the soup course to come out of the closet though. It would probably take them months to get all that soup out of the table cloth. Huh.   
She switched on her Digivice. She hadn't had the opportunity to check up on her project all night (Urgh. Way too many relatives pinching her cheeks and telling her not to turn out like her brother.) so now she wanted to see some action. When nothing came up on the screen, she frowned.   
"Hm. I guess I'll go down to the boat house, and see how Takeru and Iori are holding up," she said, and walked down the street. Odd, she thought, that the digivice wasn't working. She must have a "conversation" with Koushiro about that.   
*****************************************************************  
Ken was wearing down, as wave after wave came before them. He lashed out, hitting many, but more just seemed to come up in their place. Daisuke was similarly ragged and his shot were getting strayed.   
"We can't win," Daisuke said, seeing how futile this was. They were closing in on all sides.   
"I noticed!" Ken replied, sarcastic, but quickly retracted his harsh tounge. "Sorry. Hell, if we've gotta go down, let's go down with a bang." He drew Daisuke close and gave him a kiss that put to shame the one that they had shared over lobster bisque.   
The pirates, roughians that they were, were taken aback, to say the least. That was definately not what they were expecting.  
"Those pretty boys put up that much of a fight?" a particularly nasty fellow with less teeth than his shoe size and more bits of candy sticking to him than his IQ (That is to say, not that many at all)  
The rest were similarily surprised, but orders were orders, and they set upon the two, (still kissing) roughly subdubed them , bound them hand and foot, and dragged them away.   
*****************************************************************  
Mimi stood on the docks, wringing water out of her ruined blouse. She had used the pay phone to call Miyako, Koushiro, Yamato, Taichi, and Sora. Everyone else hadn't been home. If what Jyou said was true, she wanted everyone to see when they landed.   
  



	8. Chap. 8, Vini, Vici, Vichi!

Chapter 8: Vini, Vici, Vichi!  
(Not sure if that is spelled right, it means "I came, I saw, I conquered." Not sure how that fits in here, but sounds good.)  
  
Jyou, Wallace and Micheal were quickly approaching the pirate ship, and were stumped.   
"I mean," Jyou said, "I don't want to be a party pooper--"  
"You always are anyway..." Terriermon muttered darkly. Jyou ignored him.   
"But we don't have any plan at all as to how we are going to save them. It's a noble effort and all that, but we aren't going to help them by getting ourselves caught!"  
The three sat and puzzled as Seadramon swerved around a small motor boat. The occupants of the boat screamed, yelling "Sea monster!! Sea monster!!!"  
Seadramon took this as a compliment and besides "Guyssss I've got an h'idea..." he hissed.   
*****************************************************************  
When Ken and Daisuke finally started noticing something other than themselves, they saw that they were before what seemed to be the captain of the ship.   
The rather fat man sat on a (jeweled? it looked more like candied!) dais, candy of every kind bedecking every inch of the room. He was an impressive sight. Daisuke had never seen anyone eat so many Swedish Fish in his entire life.   
"Phewwww, " he said, as much with catching his breath from that incredible kiss as he was expressing his amazement.   
Ken wasn't quite as cowed, (moo?) mostly because his hair was sticking up slightly and Kaiser was running through his blood. He got up, bringing Daisuke up with him, ignoring the bloodied and brusied mess they both were.   
"What do you want with us?" He said, with strength and defiance behind his tone. Daisuke was shocked. Who would've thought that behind that thin, pale exterior, Ken was so strong inside?  
The fat man on the dais said, (rumbling slightly with the effort) "Do you have any Grey Poupon?"  
This, obiviously, was not what either expected. "Dude? No." Daisuke said, a little confused at this point.   
"Ah," the fat man said, munch reflectively on several hundred Swedish Fish before answering. "Then off with your heads!"  
"Um, sir?" one of the guards ventured from along the walls. "We left the gulliotine in the last port."  
"Then go and get it!"  
"That may take a few days."  
"So? What did I have a dungeon built for?"  
"Er. Right. Of course," he said, then he and a battilion of others went took the pair away.   
Ken turned to Daisuke "Not exactly the best first date in the world, eh Daisuke?"  
Huh. Date. Somehow, Daisuke hadn't thought of it that way before. He cuddled Ken (at least, as much as you can cuddle someone when you're being carried off by a band of bloodthirsty pirates) "I wouldn't have it any other way, Ken, baby"  
****************************************************************  
Seadramon sidled up to the pirate ship. He had related his plan to the others, and they had agreed. He'd distract the pirates by pretending to be a sea serpent, and they'd go in and get Ken and Daisuke. Terriermon and Gummimon should be enough to keep the pirates at bay. Jyou, Wallace(and his digimon), and Micheal had already boarded the ship.   
Hmm. The digimon frowned. It was quite dark by now, and they wouldn't get the full effect of him without some lighting.   
"Ice lightning!!!" he said, using his attack in a new way. He reared up, making himself look bigger.   
"I AM THE MIGHTY SERPENT OF THE SEA!!! CROSS ME AND THOU SHALL PERISH!!!" H HHefdfdsfffiiIIIiiiIIIII  
  
He was enjoying this! He went on, describing in full, explict and disgusting detail what he'd do to each one.  
The pirates mostly responded by screaming like little girls and jumping over board. Jyou, Wallace and Micheal burst into the Captain's chamber.  
Or at least, they thought it was Captain's Chamber. It was, in fact the Galley, which was mostly used in manufacturing candy. (It was here, not in the last port, where the gulliotine was, in fact. The cook had been using it to chop up watermelons. Some salad shooter.)  
"We've come to liberate our friends!!" Micheal yelled, as the all flew through the door. They looked about a bit embarasedly at the numerous cooks who were looking at them in disdain, not surprised at all.  
"You want the dungeon," one particularly helpful maid offered "That's next door."  
"Ah. Yes, thank you" Jyou said, blushing scarlet.  
"It happens all the time." the girl said, palms up.   
******************************************************************  
Hikari strolled up to the boathouse, munching on a Swedish Fish that she had picked up in vending machine two streets over. She reached for the door handle, and opened it to find Takeru and Iori asleep, in a rather odd position.   
"GET OFF OF HIM, YOU WENCH!!!!!!!!!" she screeched at Iori.  
"Go ta 'ell," Takeru said, stirring slightly. He flopped over to find himself eye to insane eye with Hikari, who now had bloodlust through her veins.  
"Oh dear." Grabbing Iori, who was mericifully still asleep, he ran. FAST!  
******************************************************************  
Miyako squinted. It was dark and starry now, twilight long past, but Seadramon was illuminated against the vevelty darkness.   
"What the hell?" she said, hugging Koushiro closer. "Is Micheal here?"   
"I think so," Mimi said, remembering the swerving car (Which was now at teh bottom of the harbor.)  
Taichi, Yamato and Sora were too busy trying to kill each other to notice much(Sora had been let out of the mental institution for good behaivor)  
******************************************************************  
Ken had given up trying to knock the door down and went to sit down with Daisuke. Both were battered, brusied, bloody, and their clothing was in shreds.  
"I give up. There isn't any way out." Ken was resigned. Daisuke smiled, and gave him a quick smooch to cheer him up.   
"We'll get out. Don't worry--"  
Jyou, Wallace, Michael, Terriermon and Gummimon fell through the door. "Your galant knights are here!" Jyou announced, nearly collasping.  
"Ha! What'd I tell you?" Daisuke said, helping Ken up. "Let's get out of this Swedish Fish hell!"  
The other three boys helped them out onto the deck. They found Taichi and Yamato in a motor boat ready to take them back.  
"Hey," Yamato said, "We had to get away from Sora somehow!" Landing at the dock, they found the other Digidestined there (Even Hikari, Takeru and Iori, though they were running around a bit) welcoming them home.  
"How'd it go? Miyako said, Koushiro, giving her a little kiss, making her giggle.   
Daisuke pulled Ken gently toward him, and the two kissed passionately to the fireworks of Seadramon destroying the ship behind them.   
"Oooooooooooooo!"  
~THE END~  
  
OH MY GOD I FINISHED IT!!!!   
Sorry, I'm a bit euphoric. 28 pages!!! YEE HAW! *I'm doing cartwheels over here!!!!* So? Like it? Eh? I don't care frankly, I'm just so happy! Ah....well, time to give some credit where it is due. Caitlin-chan, I know you're cowed. Moo to you and Mr. Ardoin too. To Swedish Fish, lemme tell ya, you gave me the sugar high that made this all possible. To my old, farty computer, thanks for not crashing more than 12 times while I wrote this. To NJ 101.5 radio, (Scott and Casey and Big Joe Henry) for making me laugh all week and sing off-key all weekend! And, of course, a big warm fuzzy to you the reader for actually making it this far, and writing a reveiw (because you will, won't you?) You deserve it!!!  
Any comments, questions, concerns, (stealing a line from Mr. Ardoin there)  
Send to Leafeon@bolt.com!  
  
"Phew. Now that there's some good rum"  
  
  
  
  
  



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